Hold onto your hats....I get a little long-winded at times!
1) What Is Your Idea of Perfect Happiness?
Perfect happiness is found in the following. And since I wear different hats, I've broken them down by category:
As An Author:
-When I'm happy with my day's work
-When I've had good sales at an event and relaxing with friends afterward, talking shop
-The excitement of cover art/books arriving or simply celebrating a new release
-The moment a positive review arrives
As A Mom/Grandma:
-Holding my little one for the 1st time
-Watching a milestone (first smile, laugh, crawl, step, school, graduation, wedding/finding a Life Partner)
As a Wife:
-Sharing the joys of our relationship/shared experiences
-Simply watching a show or exploring a new place
As A Worker Bee:
-An 'atta-girl' from my boss
-Knowing I've done a good job
2) What Is Your Greatest Fear?
Outliving any or all of my kids.
Secondary is the knowledge I'll someday lose my husband, but that's only because when that day comes, I'll have to go full-time at my Evening Job and cut severely back on the book promotion (I actually feel selfish saying that). Unless by that time my own health is declining and I'll be ready for retirement. Then the fear becomes having enough $$ to pay the bills and medical care.
3) What Is A Trait You Most Deplore In Yourself?
I sometimes have issues making decisions when I'm in charge, especially when challenged. I avoid confrontation at all cost; I've been burned too many times by expressing my opinions in public and being either laughed at or by someone telling in no uncertain terms why I'm wrong. It's just easier to keep my feelings to myself.
Did I mention I'm a people-pleaser? And a peacemaker.
I'm also a procrastinator.
4) What Is Your Current State of Mind?
As I'm typing this, dinner is in the oven, and I've had a very lazy day. Part of me needed the downtime, but another part of my brain is feeling slightly guilty that I still haven't taken the time to finish the weekly laundry. Or type up the story I added words to at the Evening Job. Or even working on Heart Song. I'll do better tomorrow. I overslept this morning and didn't even get in the shower until noon. I like to have the laundry started before noon.
So it's a mixture of peace/relaxation and Domestic Engineer guilt!
5) What Do You Consider the Most Overrated Value?
Here's where things get tricky. Today's culture values beauty, celebrity, and being correct.
Beauty: Yes, some people are more attractive than others, but once you engage them in conversation, beauty drifts away as you discover their personality. Some of the most beautiful people can be very ugly on the inside (vain, selfish, uncaring), while some of the most unattractive of my friends are very beautiful souls. As a child, I always considered myself unattractive, due to my glasses, buck teeth, and suffered from foot-in-mouth disease quite often (see #3). Once braces straightened my teeth; glasses became more acceptable; and I learned to keep my mouth shut (sometimes, anyway!), I blossomed in HS and college. I liken myself the Ugly Duckling; I'm not a graceful Swan, but I'm happy.
Celebrity: I'm still appalled by the fact there are 'celebrities' out there whose sole claim to fame was a leaked sex tape. Celebrities are those people we see on stage, screen, sports arenas, or on the radio. Are 'influencers' (ie: YouTube, Tik-Tok vloggers) celebrities? Maybe. It depends on how many devoted followers. BUT, in today's culture, being a celebrity means walking a fine line between expressing an opinion and convincing your millions of fans to think like you.
Am I a celebrity? *scoff* Hardly. Yes, I've put out nearly 40 books (#38 is arriving this spring and #39 in the fall), but I can still move around town and only a few know my 'other life'. When I first began working at the Evening Job in 2019, I did have a few people ask, "OMG...you're still writing, right?"
As if I could give that up!
But I digress....
Being Correct aka Agreeing with EVERYTHING: I don't know about you, but I'd rather be happy than right. There are some people these days who would rather shove their opinions down your throat, then cut you out of their lives just because *gasp* you dare to disagree. I've bitten my tongue (fingers??) more than once while scrolling FB or even listening to a conversation at lunch, or even at a signing. I've helped people wearing MAGA hats and 'Biden/Harris 2025' shirts. One of my Bonus Children is in the LGBTQ community, as are many of my friends. I'm a Christian. One of my children has fallen away from God. Do I stop loving them? No. Many people reading this are on my daily prayer list. Even people who aren't reading this are on it.
Does this make me a hypocrite? I've been accused of it.
For the record, my political leanings are more Libertarian. The only time I've ever voted a straight ticket was before I began paying attention.
Moving on.....
6) On What Occasion Do You Lie?
Early in my marriage, I lied about certain purchases, because I thought it would upset him. Turnes out he was MORE upset when he found out.
I lied to my mom when I first began writing erotic romance. Years later, when I'd forgotten, she floored me when she matter-of-factly said, "Sex sells." End of discussion (I nearly fell off the couch!). Later she told me she may not be proud of WHAT I write, but she'll always be proud of my writing ABILITY. Thanks Mom!
I'm a tactful person. If I'm at a signing and a topic arises that I disagree with, I'll keep my mouth shut and find a way to disengage. More recently, I was at my table and the conversation came up about our current political issues, and decided the right way to express myself was to simply say, "You just gotta have faith." I omitted anything further, and the conversation soon turned to more agreeable topics.
7) What Do You Most Dislike About Your Appearance?
Let me refer you back to #5, ha ha.....
Seriously, when I look in the mirror (without my glasses), my father stares back at me. My new driver's license picture looks my dad in drag.
Some people say I look like my mom. Personally, I don't see it. But I've grown accustomed to the way I look. But that's just my face.
Weight-wise, I'd love to get back down below 200 pounds. That 3rd child did a number on my weight, plus my metabolism shut itself off around 45. I'll be the first to admit, I did it to myself. All I did from 2011-13 was edit, write, promote, and eat. In my defense, when you're making your own chocolates, and you realize you only have enough to fill one mold out of 10 in the tray, you simply eat the chocolate. Keep in mind I had 6 trays and made enough for 4 families. I'm struggling to maintain 230.
It was hard enough to admit I needed plus-sized clothing, but at least at Maurice's, I'm a size 2:)
Hair: My blonde hair got darker with each kid, but the gray's not that noticeable (at least that's what I tell myself!), but as I'm knocking on 60, I need to find 'my old lady hairdo'. I've loved my hair the past 10 years (shoulder-length bob and various peek-a-boo colors), but as I'm painfully aware in some pics, I'm beginning to look old. The image of myself, and what I see in the mirror, isn't reflected back in a camera lens. The women in my family have always had short hair, so that's the standard I've always had. I just don't think long gray hair is that becoming. My sister recently asked me why I didn't have bangs, since I inherited our father's high forehead. Simply put, bangs are medium to high maintenance. I don't have the luxury of going to the beauty parlor every week, like my grandma, or even every 5 weeks like my mom. I'm a wash-n-go kind of gal. That being said, I always told myself that when I hit 60, I'd cut it all off and dye it a becoming shade of purple (this back when my dad expressed his disdain for that color the year Prince passed away.....60 seemed soooooo far away back then!) I doubt anyone reading this knew me back in the early 2000s; I was told at the time the length 'took years off' me. Previously, it was halfway down my back.
8) Which Living Person Do You Most Despise?
I don't think there's anyone in particular...'despise' is such a harsh word. I have no use for people who are so dead set in their ways, they try to change everyone around them. The world would be a boring place if we all thought alike....
I have a strong dislike of one of my former managers, and I'm not ashamed to say I happy-danced all over my area when I learned she'd quit:)
I have a strong dislike of my granddaughter's father. The man is now in prison for the unspeakable things he did to her and her half-sister.
I have an ex-fiance I have no desire to ever see, given the way he treated me during the year he professed to love me.
9) What Is The Quality You Like Most In A Man?
Sense of humor! Also must be able to tolerate my quirky sense of fun.
10) What Is Your Greatest Extravagance
Right now, it's my book promotions, I spend around $2000 every year in vendor fees, inventory, travel expenses, paying an editor, and paying for cover art, and printer ink.
My most expensive 'purchase'? When I broke my arm in 2021, the hospital hit me with a $49K bill. Six months later, my gall bladder cost me $51K. Fortunately, the arm was written off, probably since I tested positive for CV? The gall bladder....only relief I received was a 25% 'discount'. I frequently get calls from the collection agency. I can't afford the payments.
